some ponderings

“When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.”

James H. Boren

A good sign I think that me brain has started to ponder. Could it mean that the great void of nothingness has been crossed and now once again the little grey cells will start to spend valuable resources thinking about things that maybe others who have a life wouldn't have time for?

But then maybe I am not doing those many people justice who can have a full time job, raise a family, go to the gym, have hobbies and still think about such things? Maybe it is because they are not having Dog Whisperer marathons, HGTV half marathons and catching up on all the recorded programs that are cluttering up the DVR cable box memory that they have a brain that is primed for thought action like trying to delve into the creation of chocolate...

Now I have to wonder was this gift from the gods invented to cool the savage breast of the hordes of prehistoric Aztec women suffering from PMS or did some South American dessert chef serendipitously discover that great amounts were sold at a certain time of the month? And maybe even a bigger question to ask is what the hell did all those women eat to quench the cravings and the crazies before Chocolate was invented!!!!

How did it come about that some drugs became bad when they have been used since the dawn of time to cure a variety of health troubles....but then it seems that the drugs we replaced them with have more side affects and maybe don't do the trick as good as those we say are not only bad, evil but illegal? Is it because they can be grown quite easily and so if we had our own home grown supply it would cut into the legalized government supported drug lords?

Oh I know that in this day and age we must have control after all you wouldn't want people driving around all hopped up on drugs or out and about mixing with the public after they have dosed themselves and heaven forbid working under the influence of drugs...but I would bet that 80% of us are doing just this and with a doctor's blessing and prescription!

Oh but those drugs are different for they help us in our pain, they help us concentrate, they help us feel happy...and these couldn't possibly be dangerous for us to be driving around in an automobile...and help us be normal. But do they? here is a couple of well prescribed drugs and some of their side affects

Gabapentin:

• drowsiness
• tiredness or weakness
• dizziness
• headache
• shaking of a part of your body that you cannot control
• double or blurred vision
• unsteadiness
• anxiety
• memory problems
• strange or unusual thoughts
• unwanted eye movements

Naproxen:

• Disturbed color perception

• Double vision
• Fast, irregular, pounding, or racing heartbeat or pulse
• Halos around lights
• Headache
• Night blindness
• Overbright appearance of lights
• Troubled breathing with exertion
• Tunnel vision
• Coma
• Confusion
• Change in ability to see colors, especially blue or yellow
• Chest pain or discomfort
• Decreased vision
• Depression
• Dizziness
• Extreme fatigue
• Eye pain
• Fainting
• Seizures
• Slurred speech

Wellbutrin:

The most common side effects associated with bupropion are agitation, dry mouth, insomnia, headache, nausea, constipation, and tremor. In some people, the agitation or insomnia is most marked shortly after starting therapy. Some patients may experience weight loss. Uncommonly, patients may experience manic episodes or hallucinations. Four of every 1000 persons who receive bupropion in doses less than 450 mg/day experience seizures. When doses exceed 450 mg/day, the risk increases ten-fold. Other risk factors for seizures include past injury to the head and medications which can lower the threshold for seizures. (See drug interactions.)

Antidepressants increased the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior (suicidality) in short-term studies in children and adolescents with depression and other psychiatric disorders. Anyone considering the use of bupropion or any other antidepressant in a child or adolescent must balance this risk with the clinical need. Patients who are started on therapy should be closely observed for clinical worsening, suicidality, or unusual changes in behavior.

So it seems that we don't like people to be unbalanced, hallucinating, not in control of their behaviour or thoughts with nature's pharmacy and we criminalize the whole ball of wax but we think that the little pills brought to us by the huge multinational drug companies are our saving grace to helping people manage their ills and get back to work...and these little pills are so good that our governments will even pay for them...that is after our doctors give us free samples to get us hooked courtesy of the those big drug barons.

Not that I am supporting the use of drugs either man-made or nature made but I got to say that maybe just maybe sometimes what the hell...if some one is in so much pain and near death what the hell would a shot of heroin be terrible? What about some medicinal opium for those who are suffering from chronic conditions that has them so debilitated that they can't work and have no quality of life? Would it be terrible if grandpa in his last years of life was hooked but not in pain?

The state of affairs as it is now we ply on the drugs and because of their side affects we as my friend's husband says then have to take another pill so we can take a pill. Got joint/muscle pain take a gut eating liver/kidney destroying heart attack giving pill...then take others for the gut and then take another for the side affects of that one!.

And because we have outlawed many of these natural wonders we have now created a sub culture that is now controlled and marketed by outlaws who have become so rich and to protect their riches will do anything to make their riches and keep them...and this is really the big crime taking something that could be grown, harvested and controlled into an underworld funder of crime and mayhem.

“It is quite true what Philosophy says: that Life must be understood backwards. But that makes one forget the other saying: that it must be lived /forwards. The more one ponders this, the more it comes to mean that life in the temporal existence never becomes quite intelligible, precisely because at no moment can I find complete quiet to take the backward-looking position.”

Soren Keirkegaard

what say you?

IMAGINATION, n.

A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

Ambrose Bierce

The brain is stagnating. I am thinking it is the time of year and the lack of sun and purpose in life. So I am thinking that since there are so many of you with such wit and imagination I will post some pics and will enlist you to write what you think is a good line or two for the picture. Use your imagination because you know a picture is worth a thousand words...I just don't have those thousand in me...you choose the pic! It could be a caption, a quote, a little story what happens next or what is happening at the time...choose one photo or more or all!

Some stories are true that never happened.
~Elie Weisel

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.
Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
~Theodore Geisel

The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
~William Shakespeare, Mid-Summer Night's Dream, 1595

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
~Mark Twain

“Sometimes questions are more important than answers.”

Nancy Willard

Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun.
~George Scialabba

I think the world really boils down to two types of people
- those who see shapes in cloud formations, and those who just see clouds.
~Danzae Pace

What to do?

You're obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn, and know lack all foundation. It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers. That's the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world.

~Octave Mirbeau, Torture Garden, "The Mission," Chapter 8

As some things happen in life I have to wonder if the way I respond to them is unusual or I am one of the masses? In many of these instances I know I am not thinking with a whole lot of thought...more so the thinking is more on an emotional level. Most of the time when I do put some of those little grey cells to work the situations seem even more bizarre...it seems that we are floundering around in the fog not knowing where to begin or how to proceed.



Now after this past while has passed and the news that comes out of Haiti is ever so more grim I wonder what the hell the world is coming to...We sit back safely with all our comforts and watch the reports, the telethons and we shake our heads and we even donate money...but meanwhile all those people are living in makeshift tents or on the road and are hurt and hungry...meanwhile just over the border in the Dominican Republic and just over yonder at Haiti's private beaches holiday resorts and cruise lines are still pandering to those fun seekers...yes it is still business as usual.

Our fearless leader Stephen has arranged a summit... he has all that free time now since he suspended the Parliament and all the leaders are meeting to plan the rebuilding...meanwhile people are hurt, starving and living where ever they can hang their sheet...here's an idea...take some of the money in aid pay the resorts and the cruise lines to house these people! Get them clean, fed and give them a bed so they can recover from their shock and injuries and grief! This will also make it easier for the restoration and rebuild and help the policing and it is just the humane thing to do...not to mention lessen the chance of diseases like cholera breaking out and other illnesses or complications.


Now on the lighter not so grand scale I have to ask what is the proper etiquette when going for a pap test? Should one leave their socks on...but that seems strange when there is nothing else on...should one make small talk? Then there is the whole dilemma of not going for a pap test until you have gone for other things for the Dr to be examined...kind of not kissing on the first date.


While we were soaking in the healing waters of the hot springs a woman walked to the the change room in a robe carrying her bathing suit...now I looked at Michael and in shock I asked was she laying on the lounger naked? A few minutes later she came out in her suit and went for a soak in the pool. Michael just happened to be in hearing distance of her and informed me that she was Italian...meaning that lounging naked in public was normal...after a while she had enough of the hot mineral water so off she went into the change room...shortly after, off I went as well...well I walk in through the showers and there she is showering....naked!!! well I just didn't know what the hell to do so I kept walking and found a change room and changed without showering!



I know it was a stupid thing to do after all it is only a naked body...but I just was too stressed about what to do...should I just shower and where would I look, would I make her feel uncomfortable if I looked at her, or maybe if I just kept my back to her that would make her feel uncomfortable...should I make small talk...now in most instances I would chit chat, but in this I don't think I could and then maybe she would think I was a snob? And would she think I was weird if I didn't strip naked too...so to avoid all the stress I just got dressed and got the hell out and went back to the motel and had a bath...and I think that most Canadians are like me and are a little reserved in our nudity...so does this mean that if we went to Italy our behaviour would be strange to them?

Yes it is at times difficult to know what to do...afterall this life does not come with an instruction book...and then there is the differences in values, emotions, and of course those little grey cells.

“A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity.”

Robert Frost

The stuff of life

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing

Fran Lebowitz

This week's theme is Bread and if there is one thing I learned with being grand central Asian Station is no matter what part of the world you come from there is always bread. Oh it might come in different shapes, it might be made from different flour, it might be steamed instead of baked or fried but it is all bread, it fills the gut and it runs the machine.

About a life ago when there were big growing boys to feed and me wanting to be uber homemaker I started making bread...well probably it happened that I thought I would try making it and everyone liked it so much that I thought why the hell not...much cheaper than bought, much healthier than store bought and much much better than store bought...plus the arms, shoulders and back got a work out kneading the dough...so save money going to physio!

Well this last while the stomach has really been putting up a fuss...burble burble toil and trouble...forget something being rotten in Denmark...something was rotten in me! And let me say I was not making noises that a lady should make! So I was trying everything...acidolphilous, yoghert (even Jamie Lee Curtis's brand)digestive enzymes, ancient chinese medicine, cut out the coffee, cut out the adult beverages, and still I was a perculating mess.

Then in the middle of baking for Christmas I happened to check my health updates and there right before my eyes the low down on Celiac's disease...and there is all my symptoms. So off the bread, cookies, christmas cake and anything else that might have gluten in it...and things start to get better. The roscea clears up, the body pains get better, the body swelling gets better, the stomach settles down.

So how hard is it to live without glutenous flour...wheat, barley, rye and maybe oats? It seems that many things like liquorish allsorts, ferre roche and all kinds of other things that you wouldn't even think of have flour in them...this I found out after the after christmas 1/2 price sales were bought and ate! The hard time is breakfast and lunch...and eating out! But I think hey I can just get unglutenous flour and bake bread and all the other stuff meself...and let me tell you this is trickier than it seems...and maybe not even worth the trouble...

But I am not giving up after a first try. I gotta say that the bread is worth its weight in gold because holy cow is that flour expensive!


Bread can also be the term for money...and holy cow if you have any money left after buying all the exotic flour you might want to head over to Harrison Hot Springs...it is a lovely little spot just north of Vancouver. It seems to be just starting to get developed so it has not been glitzified so much that is overwhelming.



Because we have spent all that money on the expensive flour we stayed at a 1 star motel. It is a little old and a little mildewy but holy cow what a view!



And it is a couple of doors from the public hot spring fed pool...and it had a kitchen so we could bring our own gluten free food from home.

The budget also got a little workout when Michael bought himself a present!


But what is a guy gonna do without one of these big lenses? How would you take a picture like this...three stories up and across the parking lot I ask you without one of these big boys?


So yes bread is indeed the stuff of life for it feeds the masses and it alows all those with a few crumbs left over to go on a little jaunt to soak their achin bones and shoot a photo or two.

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,

places to play in and pray in

where nature may heal and cheer

and give strength to the body and soul.”

John Muir

Canada's Waterloo

As we enter our centennial year we are still a young nation,very much in the formative stages. Our national condition is still flexible enough that we can make almost anything we wish of our nation. No other country is in a better position than Canada to go ahead with the evolution of a national purpose devoted to all that is good and noble and excellent in the human spirit.
Lester B. Pearson



Canada became a Country out of threat of US expansion using Native lands and after wars Between France and England. Back in the day those wise leaders knew that governing this huge country would be difficult so it divided the powers between the Federal Government and the Provinces. It also knew that there could be a problem with the powerful majority to trounce upon the rights and governance of the weaker minority so it iniatiated a Federalist rather than a unitary arrangement that allowed for a "Dominion from sea to sea."

I dusted off the old text book by Robert J. Jackson and Doreen Jackson and found these wonderful sentences that illustrate the wisdom and cooperation of the Founding Fathers:

Confederation grew of the gentlemanly agreement of a few men united by a noble ideal regarding the type of political system most appropriate to achieving their common goals. In the final analysis, it was a series of external circumstances that eventually allowed the Fathers of confederation to combine their ideas with practical necessity and proceed on the path to Statehood. Had these men not clung tenaciously to thier dream and acted when they did, it is questionable whether the Canadian State ever would have existed.

There have been some great and some not so great times and of course with the times afterall the Country is huge, it has to include different cultures, religions, ethnicities, economic disparities, time zones and of course it also has the burden of history where injustices were done to the French and the Native peoples and even to new ethnicities like the Japanese. With all this going against it maybe what is amazing is that it is still a Country and has not fractured into smaller more regional nations.

Maybe why we still are one huge country is because we had some great people gauging the soul of the country. The good ones had wisdom to know what was needed, knew that Canada was better because of the very people and their differences and worked to include everyone, had a vision of just how good we could be and got us all believing. Our Greatest Canadian ever Tommy Douglas was one who encompassed all the ingredients to get us working together for the benefit of everyone...yes Tommy Douglas strengthened us, unified us, molded us to be Canadians.




Of course with all the different Provinces who all want what is best for their own Province even if it means being given special powers or rights that would then alienate the other provinces we had Pierre Trudeau who gave us the Charter of Rights that entrenched the rights for all Canadians.






Canadians were lucky to have a man whose vision of a World that was made safe for all won not only the Nobel Peace Prize in 1957 but whose vision helped shaped Canada into being a nation of Peace Keepers. Lester B Pearson not only recognized that life on this planet was endangered by the destruction of war but also by the destruction of the environment.

"Threats to global survival, though they are sometimes exaggerated in apocalyptic language which makes our flesh creep, are real. The prophets of doom and gloom may be proven wrong but it is a chilling fact that man can now destroy his world by nuclear explosion or ecological erosion."

"The stark and inescapable fact is that today we cannot defend our society by war since total war is total destruction, and if war is used as an instrument of policy, eventually we will have total war. Therefore, the best defense of peace is not power, but the removal of the causes of war, and international agreements which will put peace on a stronger foundation than the terror of destruction."

So here we are after being birthed into Statehood in 1867...as the Jackson's say "one of the oldest states that can claim continuous existence as an independent entity for over a century"...we have lived through incidents that are truly shameful but have learned and grown from our small mindedness, we aren't perfect but we with the help of some wise leaders have growns as a people to being a more inclusive society that values our natural resources, our peace and is open and tolerant of others...

But now our very Canadianism is being threatened by a mean spirited governing party whose leader only knows how to divide and conquer. A leader who is not interested in building a country but rather is only interested in pandering to self interest of the powerful. He has changed us from being a country of peace keepers to a country that fights.

He is a leader that does not see the necessity of even having a unfied Canada as is seen in this speech to the Colin Brown Memorial Dinner, National Citizens Coalition, 1994!

Whether Canada ends up as o­ne national government or two national governments or several national governments, or some other kind of arrangement is, quite frankly, secondary in my opinion… And whether Canada ends up with o­ne national government or two governments or ten governments, the Canadian people will require less government no matter what the constitutional status or arrangement of any future country may be.

So maybe just maybe Stephen Harper was the best thing to happen to Canada in a long time for us Canadians have become complacent, we have forgotten that not so long ago for almost a decade Canada was deemed the best place in the World to live. We took for granted the good opinion of the World so when we went travelling we felt the bonds of friendship by others when they saw our Maple leaf. We let our personal problems get in the way of feeling secure enough on the World's stage to walk a different path and to speak out for injustice and to advocate for the environment and to work towards peace. We grumbled about the inequities in power and funding of the regions and we griped about governments who were out of touch...we tuned out and became disengaged...

Yes the economist was correct it would be a pity indeed if we let this current regime change us from a “peaceful, diverse, tolerant . . . with long-term riches to boot" to fall short of our potential because of a an aloof, cerebral figure, disparaged well beyond Liberal circles as a neo-conservative who has imported dangerous ideas from the United States.

Yes maybe this man who leads this Country has come at the right time maybe he came to shake us up so that we stand up and say enough...we are not going back we are not changing into a country who only values the individual, who does not care about others. Who will not throw away our future and our children's ability to enjoy the beauty of this vast country. We will not turn into a petty, fearful, intolerant nation that will prosper at the expense of being an unified country and at the expense of the the goodwill of rest of the world.

Our hopes are high. Our faith in the people is great. Our courage is strong. And our dreams for this beautiful country will never die.

Pierre Elliott Trudeau

Here is what those darn educated elites have to say

Pardon!

To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.

Friedrich Nietzsche

You know some things you hear you just got to shake your head and wonder did I hear that right? Like just a minute ago the commercial said that if you eat in one day a month you would save over $400 a year...now is this commercial trying to suggest that most families of 4 eat out 7 days a week all year long? Now I know I live a sheltered life but come on...I, most of the time don't get fooled this easy...hey I did the math (with the help of excel) and the math calculated that it would cost almost $15,000 a year...and who the hell could afford that? or even who would want to eat all that crap?

Now a lot of times I admit some things need explaining to me for with the bump to the head and its affects I sometimes just don't pick up the subtlety of situations...I take things too literally, sometimes the little grey cells they just don't work well or quickly...the brain tires out and when that happens I get the deer in the headlight stare...so just give it to me quick and simple and I might comprehend.

Another barrier to comprehending the situation is all the noise that one has to wade through to get to the bottom of what is really trying to be said...and this is again troubling for noise just puts more stress on the little grey cells. And what happens when extra pressure is put on the whole ball of wax because the main frame can't block out the competing noise? Well the little grey cells they have to work harder to understand and of course with working harder they poop out quickly so then once again...deer in the headlight.

no deer in headlight hows about a cow in daylight?

So when I am going about my business I am often dazed and confused and in many instances I just don't know if it is me or if it is indeed something that really doesn't make sense like we elect politicians to work for us and since we at one time did live in a democracy or thought we did before the Conservatives started to run the country with a minority government!!! Yes and with a minority government most would assume that those in power would be more careful on their governance style, would be more in tune with the electorate, would represent the Country on the World Stage with care of not only the opinion of all those back home but with care with the opinion of the world.

So with all the goings on that has been going on up here in the Great White North I really have wonder if the whole country has suffered a mild traumatic brain injury! The crap that is coming from the members of the Conservative Party is not only shocking but it is offensive as well as can be seen in Tony Clement's comments:

Industry Minister Tony Clement says that on the “Richter scale of upset” his constituents just are not that concerned about his boss shutting down Parliament for five weeks.

"I know it's a big issue with the Ottawa media elite and some of the elites in our country, but I got to tell you if reaction in my constituency is any indication, I've had maybe three dozen emails," he said.

Clement said the government was focused on the economy and the next session of Parliament.

"It may not be what the chattering classes want, but we're not here to govern on behalf of the chattering classes," he said.

So often I hear about "ordinary" Canadians...well here again I am confused for it seems that the Conservative government are pandering to the lowest common denominator...the uneducated, those who think that slogging away for big bucks all the while paying big bucks to be able to live in some god forsaken hole poisoning the water, soil and air in the tar sands and who drive around in a huge fricken truck with a rifle in the back window are "ordinary" Canadians.


Stephen Harper thinks that "ordinary Canadians" don't care about anything else but the here and now, thinks we want to bring back the death penalty, want to end access to abortions, only want marriage to be available to men and women if the bride and groom are only a man and a woman, are willing to give up our National Healthcare system if it means that we...personally... can jump the cue, don't want or need any more emigrants, and everything should have a price and be sold to the highest bidder...water, air, nuclear technology, dirty oil...yes he thinks that us ordinary Canadians are willing to sell our souls and our humanity and our compassion...everything that makes us Canadian.


And the scary thing is that the things that we Canadians are truly known for is helping him take our country, our way of life and our future...yes as the Economist magazine describes us we have Canadian tolerance and then there is the Canadian's political complacency that are allowing this one dimensional red neck to govern as he pleases with no regard to the "extra-ordinary Canadians".



So call me an elite or call me one of the chatterers but god almighty please don't call me an "ordinary Canadian"

Mr Harper is a competent tactician with a ruthless streak. He bars most ministers from talking to the media; he has axed some independent watchdogs; he has binned campaign promises to make government more open and accountable. Now he is subjecting Parliament to prime-ministerial whim. He may be right that most Canadians care more about the luge than the legislature, but that is surely true only while their decent system of government is in good hands. They may soon conclude that it isn’t. The Economist magazine

the thigh bone is connected to the knee bone...

When we try to pick anything out by itself,

we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

- John Muir

It seems that we beings like to treat most things as a single unit that has no relation to any other thing...we see no correlation to environmental degradation to health issues, climate change, loss of biodiversity and all the other things it damages...oh we might attribute them singularly depending on what might be troubling or interesting us personally but for the most part we don't include the whole ball of wax into the mix.


When us here in the hinterlands of Canada go to the doctor with troubling health the doctor does not take all of our complaints...in fact there is usually a note on the door or the wall that informs that the appointment is for only one concern...and then when the general practitioner becomes stymied to what is troubling you they might refer you to a specialist...who is a specialist on one body function system.

And yes even in politics (Lynne you can skip this paragraph) we have political dogma and theories that analyze and find solutions based on their one point of view...Conservatives with the view that everybody just needs to buck up, work hard, look after themselves because governments are really not there to intervene...especially when we have the private sector humming along making wealth and spreading it out so that the country really runs itself...and if you are Stephen Harper you think that the government is so unnecessary that it doesn't even have to show up for work!



It is becoming clear to me that this pigeon hole way of thinking does not work. By only focusing on a single issue not taking in the big picture we fail to find the root problem and then wasting valuable time, resources and trauma throwing bandaids on the symptoms.

This morning I awoke with such a ringing in my ears...now since I walked myself into the side of the pole I do have ringing in my ears...but not this loud! It was agony, it woke me up it was so loud. It seemed to get worse when I stood up to go to the bathroom and so I am moaning about this to Michael who also is plagued by ringing in his ears. I finally remember that I have some Chinese medicine magic pills that are for tinnitus so I get up and wander down stairs and the ringing is worse! I am now thinking that it is worse when my head is upright so I get back in bed and hang my head over the side of the bed thinking that maybe I can fix it by hanging my head upside down. So the Chinese Medicine is not working the blood rushing to my brain is not working and I am getting a little desperate...thinking that I just might have to go get acupuncture later. I try one last attempt thinking it is a by product of my seized up neck and shoulders so I run a hot bath and throw in some detoxifying bath salts...and it feels good.

meanwhile Michael gets out of bed goes into the hall and says oh I hear ringing! Then he goes down stairs and said it is louder down here! Then he does a search and says it is the tuner for the tv...finds the remote and turns it off...and voila! Instant relief!



So in this case my ear bone was connected to the tv and just who would have thought that?

A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space.

He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.

This delusion is a kind of prison, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.

Our task must be to free from this prison bywidening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty.

- Albert Einstein